I for Internet

           It wasn’t long ago, when having a decent dial-up connection was the craziest dream. One that you could talk about with your friends; the key to the unlimited source of the unreachable! You see, those days a connection was just a connection. It was just a tiny stream of tired bits being carried by some even more tired signals, and no one thought it’ll get better. Well, not in Iran!

When I’ve got my first dial-up connection, some 8 years ago, I couldn’t imagine having anything better than that. I used to spend lots of my time in Persian social networks of those days, or as I like to call them, the Cyber Pasturages! I still wonder sometimes, have we done any secret genetic experiences on animals in our country? Because I think I’ve seen some of them using internet several times. Anyway, Webshots is the only English site that I can recall from those days. My browsing habits went on like that for a year or two until the serious social networking came in.

It all started from Tebyan. The most creative Iranian site in the time, featuring lots of elements that could keep you entertained for hours i.e. a rich download section, easy blogging, free E-mail, etc. I thought posting on a site just does not make sense; well, I was wrong. My first post attracted many people: A boring joke revised by me into an unrecognizable new one. By no time I was addicted.

That was alright though; I still hated chat and blogging; two activities known as most time wasting things you could do on the internet, to me. But again, I was wrong. My first Yahoo ID was “Mohsen_15_marmoolak” (Yes, creativity was high!) and actually was of no use to me. But my second ID added another affliction: Chat. It still was not serious for me; I used to mess with my friends just to have fun. But when I started blogging it all changed. Readers started adding me from my blog and soon after that I was waist deep in IDs. I loved it though, most of them really liked my blog and that was cool. But you can’t keep chatting and living together. It was like hell for me. Imagine having a dial up connection and an add list with more than a hundred active IDs. Who’s going to pay the bill? I started announcing certain hours of day for a blog conference. Yes! People would gather in my blog and talk to me through comments or messenger. I felt like a celebrity, but in fact it was nothing but addiction. I was an internet junkie surrounded by a bunch of people like myself. All we wanted was to kill the time. However, blogging helped me a lot. It helped me to learn myself, and my abilities in writing.

But now it’s different. I’m not addicted to chat anymore; I’m not even addicted to blogging like I used to be. But thanks to ADSL, I’m a download addict now and torrent is dope!

P.S: To those who keep asking me why don’t I have a Facebook profile? Get a life and some privacy! I already feel guilty for keeping my Yahoo profile going.

When the Bus Stopped

Imagine it’s the hottest time of the day. And you’re sitting in a crowded bus on a rock-hard seat beside the window and sun is aiming at you out of all people. Now you may think that’s the worst possible scenario after a long day in university on the way back home. But if you happen to be as unlucky as I got the other day, it might get even more annoying.
So there I was sitting in a bus with 60 percent of my body being boiled by sun* and all I could do was to stare out of the window like a sad guerrilla looking out of its cage, waiting for the ugliest daily experience of mankind, the bloody bus trip, come to an end. It went on like that for like 20 minutes and I was about to reach home when something weird happened.

The driver stopped the bus at the Dehkade Olympic station and jumped off it, running towards a little kiosk at the other side of the street. I don’t know why that seemed so weird to me, like I’ve never seen such thing before. So I said to myself that I have to guess what on the earth caused him to storm out of the bus like that. And in order to do that I had to change my sitting situation because I needed my whole bodily energy to concentrate on such important (= stupid) matter. So I took my almost melted body parts together and seat properly and started thinking about it.

First I thought he’s going to buy a newspaper and since he was young and kind of a “meydun shush” guy, that would be sports-related and more specifically it’s about body building. But it wasn’t because he went directly to the kiosk’s door and not the newspapers. My second thought which would have made more sense was that he’s going to buy a bottle of water. But again I was wrong. The young driver with a red t-shirt stained with everything from engine oil to god-knows-what-else, wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. Holy duck! All that running and hurriedly crossing the street was to buy cigarettes? Really?
Apparently he didn’t want us to get angry at him because he left the bus in the middle of the street, so that is why he was running. But is it so important to have cigarettes with you whenever and wherever you are? I mean is it worth blocking the street and leaving 60 odd passengers in the bus just because you ran out of cigarettes? Is it that addicting? It reminds me of Moe’s bar in Simpsons. When there’s no beer and everyone’s screaming like a woman giving birth! Come on people, either get rid of it or learn to control your habit.

*: Sun is hot. Heat boils the water. 60+ percent of our body is water. If you didn’t know these, you probably smoke too much. ;)


P.S: Smoker’s discretion WAS advised.

P.P.S: But I’m not kidding. Control your habit. You walking human exhausts!