Do you want to torture somebody? Are you so bored of everything that you want to kill yourself? Wait a second… Before taking any further steps, read this and you may want to choose an easier way to do so.
It all started almost a year ago. A dark night in summer, when all of the God’s wonderful creation was asleep, an alarm went off and all the sudden ‘zillions of students of a particular university woke up; it was time to pick some bloody units up for the next semester.
After losing gigantic amounts of weight because of the stressful attempts that were made for logging into the site, there came the real sense of terror and fear: the place was wet and most of the children were missing*; classes were almost full and it was a tight war against time, but I managed to choose what I wanted as I wanted. Little did I know that what I wanted was what I actually didn’t want myself to want!
It was the first days of English Poetry class, when I found out that English poetry is the most horrible thing that can happen to an ESL student. Starting with Shakespeare and his stupid, boring mouth blabbing about how gay he is and how time is killing him but that’s not important and so on, we were all blessed with a huge pile of sheet, having short stories and a lot more poetry written on them.
Now I like short stories; I’m a writer myself and those are my thing. But imagine reading a short 3-4 page story in 3 sessions or to be more accurate 3 weeks. That’s like being burnt on fire in heaven! You will be disgusted no matter what is it that you are reading.
Poetry is a lot worse. To torture somebody, all you need is a sonnet from I-don’t-know-why-he-is-so-famous poet and whatever-else-he-is-known-as, William Shakespeare. Tell your victims to write a comment on a sonnet in a week and they’ll be free; and, don’t get surprised if you found them dead after that or begging to be executed instead. Yes, Shakespeare is that ugly. I can’t say that about other poets though. I happened to like one piece of English poetry or two, especially those of Robert Frost. Weird!
It is not easy to be an ESL student. People will think of you as this stupid person who couldn’t do any better in university entrance exam and is sentenced to take this course; basically, that’s enough to make you depressed like Michael Jackson when he was accused of child molestation. Now add English Literature to this mess and you’ve got yourself a frustrated student who will be the best possible case for both suicide and/ or experimental torture programs.
P.S: English Literature students’ discretion was partially advised. Partially because you are a human being after all and English Literature is a nightmare to those who can read regardless of what they major in.
P.P.S: If you think I’m promoting suicide and torture by writing this, then you are absolutely right.
3 comments:
common mate! english literature IS good.
You shouldn't compare Frost who was a contemporary american poet with Shakespeare who was an english Elizabethan sonneteer.I admit that Shakespeare seems to be boring at times but you need to compare him with other tedious sonneteers of the time such as Jonson. Shakespeare was mainly famous for his marvellous plays. And eng literature is famous, not so much for its poetry, but for its novels and plays.
anyways, very well written !
I'm with you man.so true!
good job buddy !
Post a Comment